Similar Socialization

The Daily Utah Chronicle

This is a must read for all homeschoolers (and people who think homeschoolers aren’t socialized!)

Home-schooled kids can receive similar socialization

When my wife and I mention to our friends that we are strongly considering home-schooling our children, we are without fail asked, “But what about socialization?”
Fortunately, we have found a proven method by which our kids can receive the same socialization that government schools provide.
On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will personally corner my son in the bathroom, give him a wedgie and take his lunch money.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my wife will make sure to tease our children for not being in the in-crowd, taking special care to poke fun of any physical abnormalities.
Fridays will be Fad and Peer Pressure Day, in which we will all compete to see who has the coolest clothes or the loudest, fastest and most dangerous car-all while dying our hair and ripping our jeans.
Everyday, my wife and I will adhere to a routine of cursing and swearing in the hallways and mentioning our weekend exploits with alcohol and immorality.
If our kids attempt to use the bathroom without permission, we will punish them immediately and ask them to hold us to a similar standard by reporting us to the authorities in the event we mention God or try to bring up morals and values. And just think-all these benefits without a dime of taxpayer money!
Alan Brymer
Ute Fan